Shturm Lieutenant Dernard

Iš apkaltos reporto:
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Higher Officer: Name and Rank?
Soldier: Dernard Decimus, Shturm Lieutenant, III-rd Infantry Regiment, known as "HardAss", sir.
Of.: Your race, lieutenant?
So.: With all due respect sir, I do not understand how you can lead Battle Fleet if you can't see that I am damn human.
Of.: I am sorry? What did you just said?
So.: Nothing, sir, may the Emperor bless ya. Dipshit.
Of.: May Emperor bless us all, lieutenant. Age? Survivability? Life Expectancy?
So.: 32 solar years, 8 years of servitude. They say that I should have died 2 years ago, my survivability is 0.62
Of.: So you are damn lucky, aren't you, Ass?
So.: Fuck you, sir.
Of.: What?
So.: Yes, sir.
Of.: What can you tell me about yourself?
So.: Well, at my characteristic they say that I am uneducated, unethical, intolerant, death wishing attention whore. I say that they are bunch of eggheads that are going to die slow and painful death if I ever going find them. Actually I am really pleasant person unless you are trying to piss me off. I like rabbits and flowers, machine guns and war paints on my face, I LOVE having tea parties with my friends and killing people bare-fisted afterwards. I have cool Power Armour, but I still sometimes fight naked. I never fart.
Of.: And of what use are you in your Regiment?
So.: Well, i like to go in to everything Hard and Loud, with lots and lots of Dakka. Yes, I am religious, I believe in Dakka. These things mean, that I am walking Incarnate of Destruction and Mayhem. I sometimes rip tanks apart or save little children, depending on what you tell me to do.
Of.: Do you have your photo with you?
So.: Here it is
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